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Monday, June 29, 2015

Noisy Gongs




Social media exploded in the wake of the SCOTUS decision on marriage equality. My Facebook feed filled quickly with lots of opinions, some expressed with kindness but many were not so kind. This didn't surprise me. More important, though, was the number of people who expressed how silenced they felt by the public discourse, how uncomfortable they felt expressing their own opinion for fear of provoking an avalanche of hate from "the other side."

We live in America. Freedom of speech is an inalienable right. Yet so many people feel alienated right now that it breaks my heart.

How we use our words matters. "If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging symbol."

Have your words added to the cacophony, the mud-slinging, the hate? It's so easy to get sucked into the trenches of this world; the battle lines seduce us with the sirens' song of power and righteousness and indignation: I'm right, you're wrong so screw you all the way to hell!

When we have to push others down to lift ourselves up, both sides lose.

Let's take a look at the entirety of I Corinthians 13, an oh-so-familiar passage that is forgotten oh-so-often in the times of conflict for which Paul wrote it. I invite you to read the words slowly, meditatively. Let them sink in.

13  If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast,[a] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 10 but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly,[b] but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.


In this chapter, Paul addresses the subject of spiritual gifts. He's responding to conflict in the church at Corinth over which spiritual gifts are "best." Who is better? Who is right? Today's universal church in America seems a lot like Corinth in the first century, and Paul's message of love seems particularly relevant.

Consider verse 6: love "does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in truth." Many Christians feel that marriage equality for the LGBT community is wrongdoing based on their interpretation of the Bible. Many others feel that marriage equality is the truth of love in action based on their interpretation of the Bible. Both sides feel so strongly opinionated that love has been lost. The church is stuck in conflict.

Who is right? God only knows.

We see through a glass darkly, and we know only in part. I could share in excruciating detail why I support marriage equality. I could bring in scripture and personal experience and reason, like a good follower of John Wesley's Methodism. I could describe how my reading of the Bible leads me to support love in all things. I could share stories of my gay and lesbian friends, of my transgender niece, of love and acceptance and my conviction that God doesn't make mistakes.

But in the polarized environment of social media (which includes blogs like this one), those who disagree with me wouldn't listen. Those who agree with me would gather my words up, twist them into sticks with which to flog their opponents. This is the lesson social media teaches us. There is no conversation anymore. There is only yelling...the rhetoric of the closed fist. The rhetoric of trench digging. The rhetoric of military victory and defeat.

How do we talk with each other any more? Where has love gone? How do we bring it back?

Let's begin by striving for patience. For kindness. For humility. After all, none of us sees truth clearly. We could all be wrong in our opinions as we peer through the dim glass of our imperfection. At the last supper, Christ made very clear--with no equivocation or qualifications or loopholes of legal opinion--what His followers were to do in the world: love one another.

Love is the lesson Christ teaches us.

If we don't have love, we are nothing. Let all Christians be unified in sharing God's song of love in an age of noisy gongs and clanging symbols. Choose your words carefully, kindly, compassionately, constructively. The complete Kingdom Love will come. Let us choose to be a part of it.

18 comments:

  1. Very well written, Susan! I actually posted this photo on FB the other day, after being so tired of the 'yelling' that I was seeing. In Social media sites. We had a very open discussion yesterday in Sunday school about this issue. I'm amazed that so many of our church family want a policy in place where our minister can't marry gay couples. I asked what would happen if one of our kids that have grown up in this church family, decided to marry same sex...would we really turn them away? My heart just breaks. We have a gay niece, that together with her wonderful wife, are raising a beautiful great niece, and we love them dearly, and equally to our 'straight' nieces! Okay, enough said...sorry! Just got home from hospital (just a test) and am a bit loopy yet! Hugs...

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    1. Patti, I thought of your niece when the decision came down. These discussions need to happen, and they need to happen in love and peace and openness. Those of us who have loved ones in the LGBT community see all too clearly the pain and suffering hate has caused. My niece (who is trans) was surprised that support groups for families of LGBT individuals meet in churches because that message of hate had been well received by her. I, on the other hand, having experienced love in church, was not surprised at all. Only love can stop hate.

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  2. God doesn't make mistakes... I used these very words the other day.

    Bravo to you for filling your little corner of the Internet with love.

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  3. Just so. Thank you for sharing this.

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  4. I can't even express how much this resonates with me. I haven't added my noise to the general roar - there seems to be no point. I know that a significant portion of my husband's family is *very* anti-gay and I don't need them making it personal. For people that can be almost ridiculously kind and loving they can also be horrible bigots. :( I choose to make my comments on a personal level - to those of my friends in need of a virtual hug or a reminder of how much they mean to me. I understand that not *all* Christians, not *all* conservatives, not *all* republicans are terrible bigots - but some really bad apples have certainly spoiled my desire to converse with them. You are certainly someone that I could proudly say "She's a great friend!" to ANY of my friends. So, thank you!

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    1. Mari, you've shared before how your extended family feels on this subject. I pray that with time and love, they will open their hearts. We don't all have to agree, but we should all be kind!

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  5. Beautiful words, Susan. I haven't seen much of the discourse on the decision in my social media feed other than generally supportive/celebratory comments and calls for Australia to follow. I wonder if Australia ever does follow if we will also have the uprising of unkind words and actions and polarised "yelling" in social media. I hope not.

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    1. I hope not, too, Michelle. Yelling is causing all sorts of problems for people here...families are fighting, disowning each other, and some churches are in a positive uproar. It's so sad.

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  6. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You do so in such a well-spoken way that I hesitate to even comment! Just wanted to share that I had a short conversation about this topic with my mother yesterday. I am a Unitarian Universalist and she is an over 70 Mennonite. While she may not be a loopy liberal like me, she expressed absolutely zero judgement towards those who are LGBT and her concern seems to be more with disagreement and division within and among churches. It causes trouble when we try to see things as black and white in a world that is filled with gray. It was just wonderful to have a non-confrontational conversation with someone who has a somewhat different perspective. Thanks, Mom!

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    1. Sherri, thank you so much for your comment. It brought tears to my eyes...tears of hope! How wonderful that you could have this conversation!!! May you and your mom set an example for all of us!

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  7. Good points, Susan! I think the most important thing to remember is to love one another! Jesus didn't say to only love those we agree with.

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    1. So right, Bonnie. What good does it do us to just love those who agree with us? The extravagant, boundless love Jesus calls us to share with the world is so very hard...and so very necessary for God's kingdom on earth!

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  8. Well-written, thoughtful, and insightful. It was a good reminder for me. Then I took a deep breath and sent it to almost everyone in my Address Book. Thanks for posting.

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    1. I so hope your emails result in positive conversations full of love and openness, just like Sherri describes above!

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Thanks so much for taking time to comment!