Recently, I struck up a conversation with my Starbucks barista. Let's call him Bob. Bob and I are on a first-name basis, and he's quite the perfect person to be a barista...friendly, warm, kind, and a bit chatty. Just seeing him behind the counter makes me smile.
Parent-teacher conferences and appointments with the developmental pediatrician were on my mind, so I shared with Bob that our son has autism. Bob was so kind and shared his Christian perspective of love in the face of challenges. He also shared that his wife of many years suffers a number of challenges herself. He told me he'd been laid off a few years ago, just a bit too soon for him to retire, and that's why he worked at Starbucks.
As two caregivers brought together by a grande pumpkin spice latte, we understood each other and extended much-needed grace to each other in gentle words and kindness in Christ's name. I walked away from that moment lifted up and lighter. I hope Bob did, too.
Moments like this happen to me. A lot.
The world is full of us broken people who pull ourselves together in love for others, who know in our bones that we are loved by Love Itself, and who simply must spread that love around like double-fudge icing on a world that needs it.
Some days, though, life's exhausting. And that's why, when we're open and honest and real, these moments of kindness between and connection to others come to us as gifts straight from God.
We are not alone.
We are never alone.
God sends us others--in both small ways and large--to help us bear our burdens. Keep your head up and your heart open, and pay attention. Look for these gifts when they come to you; look for opportunities to give these gifts when you can.
And be grateful for each and every one.
Feel free to share a "gift moment" you've experienced. Who knows? You might give someone ideas!
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
God Is Found
During Sunday worship, our congregation sang "How Can We Name a Love," and so much of this beautiful hymn by Brian Wren spoke to me. The last two lines of the first verse read:
Within our daily world, in every human face,
Love's echoes sound and God is found, hid in the commonplace.
Hid in the commonplace. That's were we find God. So often, we want the mountaintop experience, the voice from the burning bush, the whirlwind guiding us through the wilderness. But God shows up in our lives every day in the smile from a stranger, the banter of the barista, the gesture from another driver letting you go first at the intersection, the assistant returning your cart at the grocery store parking lot.
In looking for the whirlwind, we miss Love's echoes sounding quietly and consistently in our daily routine.
How might we feel if we mindfully awoke to life overfilled with Love unconfined to the mountaintop, but spilling out of commonplace moments of each and every day?
We might feel like sharing that love ourselves, reaching out in the commonplace, being the hands and feet and smile of Christ to others.
See the good. Be the good.
And life is good.
Thanks be to God.
Within our daily world, in every human face,
Love's echoes sound and God is found, hid in the commonplace.
Hid in the commonplace. That's were we find God. So often, we want the mountaintop experience, the voice from the burning bush, the whirlwind guiding us through the wilderness. But God shows up in our lives every day in the smile from a stranger, the banter of the barista, the gesture from another driver letting you go first at the intersection, the assistant returning your cart at the grocery store parking lot.
In looking for the whirlwind, we miss Love's echoes sounding quietly and consistently in our daily routine.
How might we feel if we mindfully awoke to life overfilled with Love unconfined to the mountaintop, but spilling out of commonplace moments of each and every day?
We might feel like sharing that love ourselves, reaching out in the commonplace, being the hands and feet and smile of Christ to others.
See the good. Be the good.
And life is good.
Thanks be to God.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Broken and Blessed
The Japanese have a practice called kintsugi, or golden joinery. When a pottery piece breaks, it is repaired with lacquer mixed with gold or another precious metal. Thus, the broken places are highlighted and made beautiful.
God does this to us. He fills in our broken places with grace and mercy...and they become beautiful.
When I look back on my life, some of the most horrible things that happened have made me more beautiful: kinder, gentler, more forgiving, less judgmental. Isn't it amazing how God can do that in our lives? He is always working toward good, no matter how much evil we encounter in the world.
Today, reflect on how God has put you back together with gold. How can you use your gold-filled places as a witness to God's love with the world? Where are you still broken and resisting God's healing?
Monday, September 7, 2015
Render unto Caesar
As the political scene in the United States starts gearing up for the 2016 presidential elections, it's good for Christians to remember that Jesus told us to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and to render unto God that which is His.
Mike Slaughter and Chuck Gutenson put it better than I ever could so I'm sharing Rev. Slaughter's blog post, excerpted from their book Hijacked: responding to the partisan church divide.
What Happened to the Evangelical Church?
It breaks my heart to see Christians judging each other, turning on each other with viciousness and hateful speech, all in the name of politics. Jesus told us to love each other, and we're failing spectacularly as the divisive and ugly rhetoric of politics invades and infects our words to each other.
Love the Lord your God, and love your neighbor, and treat your neighbor as you yourself want to be treated.
That's God's bottom line.
How will you keep God's bottom line this political season?
Mike Slaughter and Chuck Gutenson put it better than I ever could so I'm sharing Rev. Slaughter's blog post, excerpted from their book Hijacked: responding to the partisan church divide.
What Happened to the Evangelical Church?
It breaks my heart to see Christians judging each other, turning on each other with viciousness and hateful speech, all in the name of politics. Jesus told us to love each other, and we're failing spectacularly as the divisive and ugly rhetoric of politics invades and infects our words to each other.
Love the Lord your God, and love your neighbor, and treat your neighbor as you yourself want to be treated.
That's God's bottom line.
How will you keep God's bottom line this political season?
Thursday, August 27, 2015
Building Up
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29
What are your spiritual gifts*?
Are you using them?
If so, how can you use them more effectively?
If not, what steps do you need to take to let the Spirit move you?
These are questions we Christians should ask ourselves regularly, prayerfully, and in community. After all, spiritual gifts are those wonderful gifts given by the Holy Spirit specifically for service to the church. When we allow ourselves to engage fully, positively, and productively with our faith community, great things happen.
What happens, however, when there's a misfit between our spiritual gifts and our involvement in the church? Well, nothing good. And often, because we are in community, our personal missteps hurt the community as much as they hurt us.
God did not give me the gift of music, for instance. If I were to force my way into the choir, the director would do all she could to silence me, cover my voice with stronger, better voices that actually stay in tune. The dissonance caused by my caterwauling would disrupt the harmony.
It's a good thing I know and accept my vocal inadequacies and don't torment others with delusions of grandeur! During worship, I sit right behind the choir and sing softly so they drown me out...a lovely solution to my joyful noise.
Interestingly, our spiritual gifts change over time, though admittedly it's unlikely I'll miraculously start singing in tune. An activity that fills us with joy in one season of our lives might gradually become a drain on our energy. As we become empty and negative, our unhappiness infects others around us. We tear down rather than build up, we see only problems where there are solutions, we criticize when we should encourage.
My top two spiritual gifts are nurturing leadership and mercy...which makes my role as a Stephen Leader a good fit. I'm new to the role, though, and bound to make mistakes. In fact, I've already made several. Thankfully, the other leader, Zandra, has been doing this for years and has a way of reining in my puppyish enthusiasm that is gentle, kind, and positive. She builds me up. I always look forward to seeing her, to working with her, to learning from her.
God gives us people in our lives to grow us as Christians, to build us up. I am so grateful for Zandra, my pastor, and the others in my faith community who not only build me up but build others up as well.
Let our words give grace to those who hear them!
*If you are new to the idea of spiritual gifts or aren't quite sure what they are, you can get a nice overview here on the United Methodist Church website. There's a link on that page to an online assessment to help determine your gifts, but that assessment is really just a start. Different churches and studies list different gifts...there's not really a single definitive list. I strongly encourage people to participate in a formal small-group study of gifts to get a deeper, more refined idea of what your gifts might be and help in deciding how to use them. Christian community is so important, and small groups are an excellent way of growing in faith!
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Unanswerable Questions
A friend called me a few days ago to tell me that she lost a dear friend--a 40-something mother of young twin boys--to cancer. In her grief, my friend asked that unanswerable question: "Why?"
Why would a young mother die suddenly? Why did she have cancer in the first place? What possible good can come of out this?
My friend wanted words of wisdom. I don't know how wise they are, but this is what I've learned about grief and loss and the unfairness of life.
Sometimes, things don't make sense and never will. We don't understand. Cells grow out of control or a drunk gets behind the wheel or a heart stops or a foot slips or someone drowns or tectonic plates move or a person takes his or her own life. We want to explain these things away, comfort ourselves with cause, blame, anger. But really, sometimes, things just don't make sense. And they never will.
God doesn't make people sick or kill babies or young mothers or fathers or thousands of people in a terrorist attack or tsunami or concentration camp. God does not do these things. At least, this is what I believe as a good Methodist. Some Christians believe differently.
God does, however, welcome His children home when tragic things happen, and He provides ways for those left behind to turn tragedy into something good. A woman whose 16-year-old daughter died in a car accident opened a half-way house for teenage girls because God wanted her to take all that love for her daughter and help girls in need. I've written before how we see God every time a first responder rushes toward tragedy rather than away from it. God is there in the doctors' hands and nurses' kindness. He's there, even in the worst situations, trying to move us to do good.
I also know that this sucks for us. It takes time to heal and time to see good again. We need to give ourselves that time, to be kind and gentle with ourselves as we grieve, and we need to find people, or even one single person, who will listen to us as we work through our grief at our own pace and in our own time. If we don't find healing, we sink in bitterness. Tragedy--not God--wins.
That's what I know. It's not much, or even enough, but I cling to it as I cling to God.
It's just enough to get me through, and I sure hope it helps you, too.
Why would a young mother die suddenly? Why did she have cancer in the first place? What possible good can come of out this?
My friend wanted words of wisdom. I don't know how wise they are, but this is what I've learned about grief and loss and the unfairness of life.
Sometimes, things don't make sense and never will. We don't understand. Cells grow out of control or a drunk gets behind the wheel or a heart stops or a foot slips or someone drowns or tectonic plates move or a person takes his or her own life. We want to explain these things away, comfort ourselves with cause, blame, anger. But really, sometimes, things just don't make sense. And they never will.
God doesn't make people sick or kill babies or young mothers or fathers or thousands of people in a terrorist attack or tsunami or concentration camp. God does not do these things. At least, this is what I believe as a good Methodist. Some Christians believe differently.
God does, however, welcome His children home when tragic things happen, and He provides ways for those left behind to turn tragedy into something good. A woman whose 16-year-old daughter died in a car accident opened a half-way house for teenage girls because God wanted her to take all that love for her daughter and help girls in need. I've written before how we see God every time a first responder rushes toward tragedy rather than away from it. God is there in the doctors' hands and nurses' kindness. He's there, even in the worst situations, trying to move us to do good.
I also know that this sucks for us. It takes time to heal and time to see good again. We need to give ourselves that time, to be kind and gentle with ourselves as we grieve, and we need to find people, or even one single person, who will listen to us as we work through our grief at our own pace and in our own time. If we don't find healing, we sink in bitterness. Tragedy--not God--wins.
That's what I know. It's not much, or even enough, but I cling to it as I cling to God.
It's just enough to get me through, and I sure hope it helps you, too.
Sunday, July 26, 2015
Paying Attention
Psychologist Daniel Goleman, an expert on emotional intelligence, wrote, "The act of compassion begins with full attention."
Meditate on that for a moment.
"The act of compassion begins with full attention."
Compassion, which we can define as the empathetic desire to help someone who is troubled, requires us to see what the trouble is, to understand that trouble and how it affects a person, and to act if there's anything helpful we can do about it.
Who around you is suffering? How can you exercise your compassion attentively?
Very often, the answer to that second question is quite simple:
Compassion can be tough in a world that tells us the important things are big...big gestures, big words, big generosity. Silent support seems too little, too ordinary, too unimportant.
Truth is, we all appreciate it when someone really listens to us, pays attention, doesn't try to fix things or offer up suggestions for how we can make the pain go away. I've been struggling with headaches for several years now, more than likely the result of menopause. It's been fascinating to watch people's response to my pain. Some email me 10-point lists of suggestions, and some tell me how their aunt's sister-in-law's cousin had the same thing and found instant relief by using a combination of aromatherapy and crystals to align her chakras. Others stick to suggesting medications or dietary changes.
Three years ago, I had no idea there were so many options for treating headaches.
I listen to most of the suggestions and weigh them against everything else I've tried, although the aromatherapy-and-crystals idea came from a total stranger who saw me looking at essential oils at the high-end grocery store. Aromatherapy can't hurt and might help, but crystals are against my religion. Otherwise, I appreciate the suggestions. Once you've exhausted medical options with your doctor, you'll try almost anything for relief.
The best thing that has come out of other people sharing their experiences with mid-life headaches has been the comforting assertion that they will go away. They will end. The change will be over. Hope is always useful! And through suggestions for treatment, I have found some things that truly provide relief.
One friend, however, hasn't suggested a single remedy or treatment. All she's done is listen to me whine and complain about having tried ten different medications and oy vey nothing helps! She asks me always, "How's your head?" And gives me her quiet attention. She's my safe place. Her full and quiet attention helps me get over myself and laugh at the pain, which gives it a lot less power over my moods.
My husband George has been wonderful through all this, too. He doesn't take offense when I get grouchy; he simply ignores my mood and sympathizes with the pain. He's brought ideas for treatment from other people, googled for information, and generally been there in sickness. I appreciate his attentiveness more than I can say.
I am blessed with so many wonderful friends and family!
God blesses us to be a blessing to others. Many of my friends are dealing with far more tragic or difficult situations than headaches. Divorce, loss, cancer, mental illness, and caring for sick or dying loved ones...these people are suffering, and they need attention.
Matthew 25:35-40 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
The act of compassion begins with full attention. It continues with love.
Who in your life needs your full attention? Do they need advice from you or do they need you to take the quiet, compassionate option of sitting beside them? Pay attention to the situation. Ask the person how you can help. Listen carefully to the answers.
What we do out of love and compassion--no matter how seemingly small or insignificant--we do to the glory of the One who died for us. So let's pay attention!
PS My own headaches are probably the result of muscle tension of "unknown" physiological origin (as opposed to psychological origin). I say it's the hormones, and so do a number of older ladies at my church who have been here, done this, and gotten over it. I'm treating with a combination of things (medications, massage, acupuncture, meditation, and well patches). If you're suffering from mid-life headaches, best wishes for finding relief that works. There certainly are a LOT of options out there.
Meditate on that for a moment.
"The act of compassion begins with full attention."
Compassion, which we can define as the empathetic desire to help someone who is troubled, requires us to see what the trouble is, to understand that trouble and how it affects a person, and to act if there's anything helpful we can do about it.
Who around you is suffering? How can you exercise your compassion attentively?
Very often, the answer to that second question is quite simple:
 |
| Source |
Truth is, we all appreciate it when someone really listens to us, pays attention, doesn't try to fix things or offer up suggestions for how we can make the pain go away. I've been struggling with headaches for several years now, more than likely the result of menopause. It's been fascinating to watch people's response to my pain. Some email me 10-point lists of suggestions, and some tell me how their aunt's sister-in-law's cousin had the same thing and found instant relief by using a combination of aromatherapy and crystals to align her chakras. Others stick to suggesting medications or dietary changes.
Three years ago, I had no idea there were so many options for treating headaches.
I listen to most of the suggestions and weigh them against everything else I've tried, although the aromatherapy-and-crystals idea came from a total stranger who saw me looking at essential oils at the high-end grocery store. Aromatherapy can't hurt and might help, but crystals are against my religion. Otherwise, I appreciate the suggestions. Once you've exhausted medical options with your doctor, you'll try almost anything for relief.
The best thing that has come out of other people sharing their experiences with mid-life headaches has been the comforting assertion that they will go away. They will end. The change will be over. Hope is always useful! And through suggestions for treatment, I have found some things that truly provide relief.
One friend, however, hasn't suggested a single remedy or treatment. All she's done is listen to me whine and complain about having tried ten different medications and oy vey nothing helps! She asks me always, "How's your head?" And gives me her quiet attention. She's my safe place. Her full and quiet attention helps me get over myself and laugh at the pain, which gives it a lot less power over my moods.
My husband George has been wonderful through all this, too. He doesn't take offense when I get grouchy; he simply ignores my mood and sympathizes with the pain. He's brought ideas for treatment from other people, googled for information, and generally been there in sickness. I appreciate his attentiveness more than I can say.
I am blessed with so many wonderful friends and family!
God blesses us to be a blessing to others. Many of my friends are dealing with far more tragic or difficult situations than headaches. Divorce, loss, cancer, mental illness, and caring for sick or dying loved ones...these people are suffering, and they need attention.
Matthew 25:35-40 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
The act of compassion begins with full attention. It continues with love.
Who in your life needs your full attention? Do they need advice from you or do they need you to take the quiet, compassionate option of sitting beside them? Pay attention to the situation. Ask the person how you can help. Listen carefully to the answers.
What we do out of love and compassion--no matter how seemingly small or insignificant--we do to the glory of the One who died for us. So let's pay attention!
PS My own headaches are probably the result of muscle tension of "unknown" physiological origin (as opposed to psychological origin). I say it's the hormones, and so do a number of older ladies at my church who have been here, done this, and gotten over it. I'm treating with a combination of things (medications, massage, acupuncture, meditation, and well patches). If you're suffering from mid-life headaches, best wishes for finding relief that works. There certainly are a LOT of options out there.
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