tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24290037911458572322024-03-04T21:00:46.209-08:00transforming common days"Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings." <i>William Arthur Ward</i>Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.comBlogger139125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-64509577305909508162021-02-21T12:50:00.000-08:002021-02-21T12:50:18.774-08:00Lenten Thoughts <p><i><br /></i></p><p><i>I want to thank Christine, a reader at Simplicity, for asking if I would post Lenten thoughts on this blog. I'm so grateful for her holy prod. Here are my thoughts right now. May they serve the One who loves us with a perfect love. Thank you, Savior.</i></p><p><br /></p><p>When historians look at Lent, they point out how the religious tradition made a virtue of necessity for early medieval Europeans. The lean, dark months of the year...after the fall harvest and culls had been consumed and before the early crops could be harvested...were a time of austerity, reflection, sacrifice, a journey through the dark. </p><p>Why not turn them into a journey to the Cross and Easter Victory? Those months sucked anyway. Sacrifice something, acknowledge Jesus' sacrifice of His very life for you, grow close to Him. </p><p>As with many such faith disciplines, Lenten sacrifice sometimes becomes a matter of pride, the showy self-flagellation that represents virtue signaling rather than a sincere, intentional expression of discipleship. Jesus told how the Pharisees dropped fat purses into the collection for show while the poor widow quietly and humbly gave what she had. </p><p>God saw. </p><p>Paul had some things to say about virtue signaling, too. Have you noticed there's been a lot of that going around lately. It's not good. Never has been.</p><p>The past year has been filled with sacrifice, both large and small. We wear masks in public to protect others and ourselves...no matter how uncomfortable or inconvenient or awkward the consequences. We've cut vacations and big celebrations, spending money (when we have it) on better wifi and extra computer monitors to work from home instead. </p><p>We've socially distanced and avoided hugs. We've turned trips to the grocery into our major outing of the week. We've watched (and maybe participated in) the deepening divisions in our communities, states, nation, and world. </p><p>We've weighed risks and benefits of in-person or virtual school for our children and our families, and been uncomfortable with the decision we made. We've lost jobs or shifted to virtual work or had to go to jobs that put us at risk of getting sick. </p><p>We've waited in our cars for hours to have swabs stuck up our noses and are waiting again to get injections in our arms. We've dropped loved ones at ERs and waited outside in our cars on rainy nights for some sort of news. We've said final good-byes via FaceTime and Zoom or not been able to say good-bye at all. We've not had funerals...or we've had them and maybe caused a few more. </p><p>Some of us--too many--have been stuck in homes where we did not feel safe, where our children were not safe, or where food, medicine, water, heat, light, or love were in short supply. </p><p>It's been a long and difficult haul since last Lent, and to be honest, I'm tired. Bone tired. Soul tired. And feeling guilty because my pandemic has been mostly the easy sort, certainly the safe sort, and not at all--so far and thank you, Savior--the tragic sort. </p><p>What right do I have to whine? Yet here I am. It's not a competition, but shouldn't I be better than this? Is my faith weak? I don't think so. I'm just tired...the kind of tired that makes me want to punch toxic positivism in the face. Don't tell me to look on the bright side or pull myself up by my bootstraps. </p><p>This just sucks, and to pretend otherwise is unhelpful. </p><p>Years ago, I tried a Lenten practice that did not involve sacrifice but addition: I started a gratitude journal. Every day, I wrote down three things that filled me with gratitude. Some days it was hard. Some days it was easy. Almost everything I wrote down was small. Paper towels. A fingernail file. A really awesome pen. </p><p>That practice of gratitude changed my attitude, my faith, and my life.</p><p>What I learned all those years ago is that when things get tough, when you get tired and sad and lonely and worn down by life, a helpful thing to do is practice gratitude. Practicing gratitude isn't the same as positivism or pulling yourself up by your bootstraps because gratitude doesn't ignore the mess. </p><p>Gratitude is <i>in the mess</i>. </p><p>Practicing gratitude is hard, though, because the weight of the mess can make lifting a pen to write down three things you're grateful for feel like climbing Everest without oxygen. </p><p>But gratitude is the oxygen. You need it. I need it. We all need it. </p><p>Oxygen molecules are small...tiny, really, as molecules go. They cross membranes and enter blood and make us alive. A whole bunch of very tiny molecules keep us alive. </p><p>We need to be grateful for the small things because they add up and keep us alive. </p><p>A text from a friend.</p><p>A dog head on your lap. </p><p>A cup of coffee. </p><p>A Bible verse.</p><p>A funny dog video.</p><p>A breath. In and out. Then another. </p><p>Thank you, Savior. </p><p>Yesterday, two different people shared memes on my FaceBook timeline within minutes of each other. They were thinking of me. Oh. My. Gosh. </p><p><i>Who am I that they thought about me?!?! </i></p><p>Thank you, Savior. </p><p>Once you've got enough oxygen for yourself (and it doesn't take much, actually), you can start carrying oxygen to others. </p><p>A text to a friend.</p><p>A gift card for groceries to someone who lost their job.</p><p>A door-drop of brownies or flowers or a book for no reason whatsoever.</p><p>A card sent with love.</p><p>A masked-up car ride to take someone to a doctor's appointment.</p><p>A text to a student to say it's okay that you're late turning in work. I understand.</p><p>Thank you, Savior. Thank you, Savior. Thank you, Savior. </p><p>A friend had hip replacement surgery last fall. Coworkers installed a ramp in his garage at the time. He's recovered nicely, and this weekend, he and his son installed bathroom and stair handrails for an elderly friend who's coming home from the hospital, weak but improving. </p><p>Thank you, Savior.</p><p>You can't carry oxygen for others if your own lungs are completely starved. Where's your oxygen coming from right now? What are you grateful for? How has God blessed you? </p><p>Because God has blessed you. Even in the deepest and most profound tragedy, and even in the lightest of burdens. God has blessed you. </p><p>Breathe it in. Breathe it out. </p><p>At this point, too many of us are tired and running on empty. Take some deep breaths of gratitude, let them energize you a little bit, and then do something for someone else. </p><p>Say, "Thank you, Savior." </p><p>Then, give someone else the chance to say the same. </p><p>Or you could just give up chocolate. </p>Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-4461082263308503782020-03-27T19:36:00.001-07:002020-03-27T19:41:57.661-07:00Our Viral Grief<span style="font-family: "times new roman", serif;">Often, people think of grief only in terms of loss through death, but we grieve—often very deeply—other types of loss. In the face of pandemic, we have much to grieve from stay-at-home orders and social distancing. We grieve missed hugs, financial losses, and the loss of physical community for worship, work, and school. We grieve lost vacations, sporting events, graduations, weddings, and funerals. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: times new roman, serif;">We want to do the right thing—flatten the curve for everyone—but the losses hurt. How can we process all this hurt and deal with this new, viral grief?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: times new roman, serif;"><b>Recognize your feelings. </b>Grief can stir up all sorts of uncomfortable feelings that need to be acknowledged. Feelings are neither good nor bad…they just are. We can’t control what we feel, but we can control how we respond. The first step in responding well to our feelings is to recognize them. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: times new roman, serif;"><b>Accept your feelings. </b>For instance, Christians sometimes think it’s a sin to be angry at God and therefore have a hard time accepting that feeling. The good news is that God’s not afraid of our anger. God’s love in infinite. God can handle our anger and every other feeling our grief might conjure up. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: times new roman, serif;"><b>Express your feelings. </b>Cry. Punch a pillow. Keep a journal. Pray.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: times new roman, serif;"><b>Trust that feelings are unique to each of us. </b>People might have the same source of grief but very different feelings about it. Trust that everyone’s doing their best with their feelings…even you! Treat others’ feelings the way you want them to treat yours, even if you might not understand them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: times new roman, serif;"><b>Share your feelings with someone you trust. </b>Often, the most healing part of working through grief is putting the words out there; feelings often lose power in the open air. Talk with someone who listens without judgment, without trying to “fix” the feelings, and without telling you what you “should” do. (And remember to be a good listener when others share their feelings with you!)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman", serif;">C.S. Lewis said, “No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.” Indeed, we now see in our response to this pandemic just how closely related fear and grief are. God is with us as we wash our hands and struggle with this new—and temporary—normal. God is with us through this uncertainty, fear, and grief. God gave us feelings; let us work through them together. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><i>This is a slightly edited article I wrote for our church newsletter, and it comes out of my experience as a Stephen Minister and Leader. If you want more information, please email me through the blog. Blessings and peace to everyone. ~Susan</i></span><br />
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<br />Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-85004951906638680352020-02-27T21:11:00.000-08:002020-02-27T21:31:44.063-08:00A Long Time ComingI've been trying to write this post for several years now. I've written it, but it may not be for you.<br />
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This post is for those in the LGBTQ community, and those who wrongly believe that all Christians think gays are going to hell, and for those who are as upset as I am at the harm being done to those who are vulnerable and marginalized.<br />
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If you're on the fence about homosexuality and the church, maybe my words will help you.<br />
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But if you believe gay people are going to hell, well, I'm not going to change your mind, and you're not going to change mine. We're going to have to disagree.<br />
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This morning I attended--as the only layperson at a table of ordained ministers and seminary students--a discussion of the book <i>Holy Love</i> by Steve Harper, a conservative Methodist theologian who has come out in support of LGBTQ inclusion in our church. He's one of many UMC pastors who, after years of discernment and of ministering to LGBTQ people, have changed their stand on inclusion. If you're wrestling with this issue, I recommend the book.<br />
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As you may know, I'm a United Methodist, and our denomination is losing its ever-loving mind over the issue of LGBTQ inclusion in ordained ministry and same-sex marriage. Schism is inevitable and may come as early as the General Conference in May.<br />
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Here's the situation. This debate isn't <i>really </i>over human sexuality. That's the presenting symptom. It's really about biblical interpretation. I can't understand the conservative side in this, though I have tried. Truly, I have. But the bottom line for me is this. Harm is being done. The church has established policies and theology that exclude people on the basis of sexual orientation and identity. Bible verses are pulled out of context and used as sticks to exclude and hurt the marginalized, the "different," the "other."<br />
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But there is no "other." There is only humanity. All of us. Together in creation. Each one made in the image of God. Each beloved and created to love and serve.<br />
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God didn't write the Bible or dictate it to scribes. Claiming that He did turns the Bible into an idol...a leather-bound god we can carry around and hit people over the head with when we judge that they are misbehaving. It's also not the "inerrant word of God." The inerrant word is the fully divine, fully human Jesus. The Word was made flesh and dwelt among us. And Jesus sent us the Holy Spirit to help us grow in faith and spread the gospel of love because God is, in fact, love. The Bible is, instead, a collection of writings by divinely inspired humans spanning centuries that was gathered together in the early church as our faith's foundational document.<br />
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The Bible, <i>divinely inspired</i>, shows us the story of God's relationship with His creation and how he has worked in the world. It shows how He shepherded us from being polytheists--who sacrificed our children and animals in attempts to bargain with gods--to monotheists with a gospel of mercy, grace, peace, and love for all. Parts of the story are "go and do likewise," and parts of the story are warnings of what not to do (idol worship, treating the poor badly, hoarding wealth, not welcoming the stranger).<br />
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Parts are specific to a historical context (Ruth sleeping with Boaz; God ordering Joshua to kill every man, woman, and child in Jericho as a sacrifice to him), and parts speak to the eternal will of God (Love the Lord your God with all your heart and mind and soul and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself). The Bible is by turns poetry, prophesy, letters, history, myth, and even advice column. It's a book full of contradictions, context, and complexity. It's a wonderful book that you should read for yourself, wrestle with, question, explore, interpret.<br />
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But if you take away anything from the Bible that doesn't make you love each and every one of God's children as you love yourself, then you're reading it wrong.<br />
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All means all.<br />
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My church used to advertise the motto <i>Open Minds, Open Hearts, Open Doors</i>. But three passages in our Book of Discipline shine light on the hypocrisy of that welcoming motto. One excludes self-avowed, practicing homosexuals from ordained ministry, one says that homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching, and one says marriage is between a man and a woman.<br />
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For years, these passages have been quietly ignored in many parts of the UMC. We have LGBTQ pastors serving all over the world and even an openly queer bishop. (We also have an African bishop who's a polygamist, and that is ignored as well, in the name of cultural difference.) Complaints have been brought against pastors who marry same-sex couples. Some are acted on; some are simply ignored. That's part of being a "big tent" church; you allow for difference and the movement of the Holy Spirit.<br />
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However, recent legislation was enacted so that if a pastor marries a same-sex couple, he or she will lose position and pay for a year. A second offense means defrocking. These sentences are mandatory and cannot be ignored, and <i>no other infraction is punishable this way</i>. This is what the conservative forces in the UMC passed a year ago, trying to give teeth to their interpretation of the Bible as the inerrant, eternal, absolute will of God.<br />
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My mother called me after that vote, heartbroken and in tears, and said, "This is not my church."<br />
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Harm is being done. Lovely humans who happened to be born gay or trans or queer are being told they cannot answer God's call to ministry in my church. Lovely humans who want to grow in their faith and deepen their relationships with God are told they simultaneously are welcome and abominations...a toxic mixed message. Lovely couples who want a committed, monogamous, God-centered relationship are told they cannot be married in the church or by a UMC pastor. Lovely UMC pastors are gutted when they have to say no to those requests or risk their livelihood.<br />
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The Bible has a lot to say about women shutting up in church, not teaching in church, submitting to men. Yet half of UMC pastors in the United States are women. The Bible has a lot to say about how to treat your slaves (beating is just fine, in case you didn't know) and how slaves should submit to their masters. Yet no one today considers slavery anything other than an abomination in the eyes of God. That's because the Holy Spirit is alive and kicking in the world, moving us TOWARD perfection. We imperfect humans resist. I know I do, every single day. But the Spirit's movement is forward, not back to a world so broken God had to clothe Himself in flesh to show us how to treat each other.<br />
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John Wesley, the founder of Methodism, said we should do no harm, do good, and stay in love with God. The UMC does a lot of good, and people on all sides of this conflict are deeply, profoundly in love with God. But harm is being done in the name of the UMC and in the name of biblical interpretation.<br />
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If you are a person who happens to be LGBTQ, know that God loves you as you are, and many of us in the UMC welcome and affirm you. Every person at the study table with me today is committed to a theology of grace and love. I left the meeting full of hope. A denomination will come out of this mess where all who love Jesus will be welcomed, affirmed, and invited to full participation in the life of the church.<br />
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Please, do not grow weary. Please, do not turn away from God. Please, do not give up hope. You are loved. I am loved. Those who are doing harm--knowingly or unknowingly--are loved. The Spirit is working. I witnessed that today.<br />
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Mercy, grace, peace, and love,<br />
Susan<br />
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<br />Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-73588949375476193912017-03-04T20:41:00.002-08:002017-03-04T20:52:44.663-08:00LentLent has begun, and we are all walking to the cross.<br />
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How are you honoring your walk? Are you fasting, giving up some favorite food for the forty days? Or are you participating in a small-group study? Have you committed to resurrecting your prayer life, or meditation, or daily Bible reading or weekly worship? Did you decide to donate your time, resources, or talents to those in need?<br />
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I would love to read your Lenten faith practices in the comments, and especially how those practices deepen your relationship with the Savior.<br />
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If you've not committed to honoring Lent in some specific way, I encourage you to do so. It's not too late to make that commitment, whatever form it takes, to walk mindfully in Jesus' footsteps to the cross.<br />
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It's my belief that our Lenten walk needs to be meaningful to us...not the fulfillment of some rule or suggestion from someone else. There is no one right way to live into Lent. Explore your spiritual gifts, pray, talk to others for ideas, maybe even sit down with pen and paper to brainstorm ideas. Lenten practice should be individual, personal, and meaningful <i>to you</i>. If it draws you closer to Jesus, it's a good practice.<br />
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Fasting and giving up chocolate never made me think of Jesus, and when, some years ago, a youth pastor suggested adding something for Lent, my brain kicked into over-drive. So many ideas popped into my head! In the years since, I've tried a number of things, and almost all have blessed me greatly.<br />
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This Lent, I'm reading Ann Voskamp's new book <i>The Broken Way</i>. If you're struggling with brokenness and guilt, the crushing weight of worry and pain, this might be the book for you. Voskamp's writing is raw, lyrical, deep. She has suffered far more than I have, and reading her experiences in facing the suffering, struggling with it, processing it, and ultimately trusting God and thanking Him in deep, abiding gratitude inspires me in so many ways. <br />
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I'm also sending a card for every day of Lent, just as I did last year. My crafty gift for making cards, my spiritual gift of encouragement, and my joy in sending happy mail come together perfectly for this Lenten practice. Giving something of yourself to others on the journey to Easter mimics Jesus' giving to His disciples and other followers during his life. While nothing can compare to His sacrifice for us on the cross, we can share that love in small ways and big each and every day.<br />
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What are you doing to honor Christ's great gift of salvation, His great suffering and sacrificial death?<br />
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<br />Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-86067773470990481552017-01-14T15:45:00.000-08:002017-01-14T15:45:02.562-08:00Trust<br />
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Please share one good, bright, hopeful thing in your life right now. Leave a comment and spread the good things. Don't we have too much spreading of the bad things? Be a part of the positive.<br />
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I'll start. I experienced two positive meetings at my sons' schools in the past two weeks. Jack's ETR/IEP meeting went very well, and so did Nick's 504 meeting. These meetings went so well because teams of teachers and administrators care about my kids. It's amazing!<br />
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Your turn.<br />
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<br />Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-36189490986518071702017-01-01T18:46:00.004-08:002017-01-01T18:49:36.438-08:00Anticipating 2017<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Too many people--Christians and non-Christians alike--are frightened right now. The news media, the political rhetoric of powerful bullies, the violence we hear about in constant streams through our screens...these suck us out of our trust in God and into a fearful, powerless state. Our eyesight is skewed and distorted by fear, as if we're looking out at a world trying to make sense of what's on the other side of clouded, cracked glass. Our confusion makes us more afraid.<br />
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Christians are called by God to be a people set apart by love. We trust God, we know He loves us, and we share that love in a hurting world. That's our job. Yet too many of us are hunkering down in fear and confusion, wondering where God is. We're being drawn in by faulty, distorted theology that teaches us to watch out for our tribe...those who believe the same way we do, look like us, think like us.<br />
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Fear leads to anger, and anger leads to hate.<br />
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We're even closing the doors to the church and guarding the gates to keep out the marginalized, the poor, the hurting, the broken, those who are sinning differently from us. We've become the Pharisees, expecting a messiah who comes bearing a sword to beat down his enemies with bloodshed and domination until we special ones are all that's left.<br />
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God, help us. </div>
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Three little words. A prayer. Already answered.</div>
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The psalmist wrote, <b>"And I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living" (Psalm 27:13)</b></div>
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I believe this has been fulfilled and is being fulfilled every single day. Every. Single. Day. </div>
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I reject the fear that the mongers are working in our world. God's work is ongoing and glorious in the here and now...and the most awesome news of all is that we can choose to be a part of it. He <i>wants </i>us to be a part of it. In fact, He's given each of us gifts to use in service to His kingdom for just this purpose. </div>
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Are you using your gifts? Do you even know what they are? </div>
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This year, <i>Transforming Common Days</i> will focus clearly and without distortion on what we can do for God's kingdom which is here and now, a positive response to fear and anger and hate. And it all starts with claiming the psalmist's words. Believe you will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living...and you will. </div>
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I do. And it's glorious. And there's so much more we can do to spread the glory, grow the goodness, overcome oppression, and communicate the love. </div>
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Will you claim these words with me? Will you believe?</div>
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Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-53814105336505841582016-12-21T21:25:00.002-08:002016-12-21T21:25:10.308-08:00A Christmas PrayerLord,<br />
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My own life is going pretty well, and I thank you for that. But some of my friends, well, they are hurting. Really hurting. They are battling illness, or they've lost loved ones, or they are overwhelmed by responsibility, or they have anxiety, depression, or other serious mental illnesses. And every time I turn on NPR, I hear about more suffering. War. Hunger. Human trafficking. Racism. Neglect. Abuse. Hate. Murder.<br />
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So many of your children are hurting, and I know that hurts you, too.<br />
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My prayer this Christmas is for all your children to feel your love. Show each of us how we can be your love in the world, your hands, your ears, your heart. Make us like Jesus, Lord, so that we grow from helpless infants into powerful forces of your endless love and amazing grace.<br />
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There is so much good in this world, and it all flows directly from you. You are all over the place! I've seen good deeds, read about amazing discoveries that will make life better, worshiped in a church filled with your love and joy. I see kindness, gentleness, mercy, compassion, patience, peace, joy, faithfulness, goodness, and self-control everywhere. You are in those fruits, and you nourish your children through them.<br />
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To those who are hurting, bring comforting hearts. For those who are joyful, give them generous hearts so that they may magnify that joy in your name.<br />
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Most of all, Lord, I thank you for Jesus. Emmanuel. God with us. The light of life. The Savior. Our example and our king. Let his light shine through us into the dark places and leave them dark no more.<br />
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AmenSusan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-85029923578189155422016-11-14T20:31:00.001-08:002016-11-14T20:31:18.437-08:00A Good Reminder<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Do not be afraid.... 365 times in the bible .. One for every day , never fear or worry But always trust in our good God!!: " height="400" src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/ce/aa/46/ceaa468d1beaab3930685a39e076f8f2.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="294" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.pinterest.com/pin/64035625931704254/">Source</a></td></tr>
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<br />Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-83307104381908188642016-11-09T09:24:00.000-08:002016-11-09T10:20:40.958-08:00What Are We All Afraid of?Something strange is going on, something sad and real, and we need to sit up and pay attention.<br />
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It simply doesn't matter which candidate gave the victory speech. </div>
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Fear won this election.</div>
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Fifty-five percent of Democrats say they are afraid of the Republican party, and 49% of Republicans feel the same way about the Democratic party (<a href="http://www.people-press.org/2016/06/22/partisanship-and-political-animosity-in-2016/">Pew Research</a>). </div>
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What are we all afraid of? Are we afraid that the Republicans are going to bring back Jim Crow and make pregnant women stop working and carry us into a fascist dictatorship where all Blacks and Hispanics and LGBT folks will be forcibly rounded up into ghettos? Are we afraid that the Democrats are going to take all our money and guns away from us and make us commit suicide when we get old and sick and carry us into a communist revolution where we all have to wear the same ugly pajamas and go to work camps for questioning the party?</div>
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I think some people do fear these things. This morning, a liberal friend pointed out that this is the anniversary of Kristallnacht, and a conservative friend celebrated that she doesn't have to worry about the death squads today. So much fear. </div>
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About the same time as the Pew findings, <a href="http://www.gallup.com/poll/188096/democratic-republican-identification-near-historical-lows.aspx">Gallup </a>reported that the numbers of Americans reporting to identify as Democrat or Republican are near historic lows: 29% identify as Democrats, 26% identify as Republican, and 42% identify as independent. </div>
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Who wants to belong to a demonized party? Not me. I've identified as independent for years, ever since I realized that as both parties drifted further to the right and left and shut out compromise and cooperation, I was anchoring myself in the middle. </div>
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But just how demonic are these parties? </div>
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The answer, I think, is this: they are a demonic and radicalized as our fear makes them. The more we react in fear, the more demonic they become. The more we react in love and build bridges of understanding, the more we realize that those so-called demons are a lot like us. We might come at things from different directions, but we all love freedom and peace and sharing a hot cup of coffee and a slice of apple pie.</div>
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<a href="http://transformingcommondays.blogspot.com/2016/11/fear-not.html#comment-form">My last post</a> pointed out that God tells us repeatedly in scripture to fear not, but last night fear won. <b>Fear would have won regardless of which candidate won because so many on both sides are reacting out of fear.</b> Fear's victory began two years ago along with the trench digging of this epically-long-fought election and when we became more focused on our fear of losing to the demons than on our joy of the freedom to shake the other's hand and move forward as Americans.</div>
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The other. Those people. When we demonize them, we are lost to God's love.</div>
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Nelson Mandela said, "If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner." Thankfully, I see so many people working hard and praying hard to diffuse the fear, to celebrate freedom for all, to push kindness and cooperation, and to speak the truth in love. I am not a weird lone voice crying out in the wilderness for peace. </div>
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There are legions of us. </div>
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We are all, quite literally and also figuratively, in this together. </div>
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For the love of God, jump on the bandwagon and start building bridges, folks. Ignore the media divisiveness and sensationalism and misrepresentation and lies, and follow the example of those who are already doing the good work of unification. Reach out to your neighbor in love and compassion and a spirit of freedom and unity-in-difference. Speak up against the fear and speak clearly with healing words and hearts. The view from the bridge is extremely beautiful. </div>
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You can do this. I can do this. We can do this. Together.</div>
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Because that's what America is all about. </div>
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<b>Today's Prayer</b></div>
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<b>Restore our souls, O Lord our Shepherd, that we may love and be loved, support and be supported, care and be cared for, heal and be healed. Prepare your table for me and my enemies, that we may become partners in Your community of grace and love. Amen.</b></div>
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Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-73070906130440422542016-11-03T10:51:00.000-07:002016-11-03T13:01:28.418-07:00Fear NotWith the election just next week, I've been thinking about the opposites of democrat and republican. How important are they when we walk into the polling booth next week? Can we as citizens of a democratic nation sensibly limit ourselves to two polar extremes? Where has that brought us? To a place of healthy debate and compromise, of legislative and executive action for the common good, of fair and equitable justice for all? Really?<br />
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I suspect that the problem doesn't lie so much in hostility between those labels of democrats and republicans as in our growing culture of fear.<br />
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In mental health terms, people are becoming increasingly rigid. Rigid individuals stop developing emotionally too soon. They are like teenagers who know everything with a certainty that defies logic; you can't tell them anything. And just like teenagers, rigid people are profoundly insecure. Their rigidity gives them an illusion of security, a sense that they have life all figured out. But their seemingly secure world is just a vulnerable house of cards that they must protect at all costs...even at the cost of peace, of love, of kindness, of compassion.<br />
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Rigid people are gripped by the fear that they might be wrong, so they absolutely, positively must be right.<br />
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When groups of rigid individuals get together and form parties, we're all in trouble. This is mental illness on a collective scale, and we're all reaping the fearful harvest in this fall's presidential election.<br />
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How should people of faith respond to this harvest? One of the most repeated sentences in the Bible is "Do not be afraid." When people of faith fall into fear, they separate themselves from God, they trust their own understanding instead of trusting His, and they produce fruits of the flesh: anger, gossip, divisiveness, hostility, and hate. They defend their house of cards instead of proclaiming the Good News of love and light and life in Jesus.<br />
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I stand in the love and light and life of the Christ, who tells me to love God, my neighbor, and myself. I don't have all the answers (or even many of them!) but strive daily to walk humbly with Him. I don't understand what is going on in my nation right now, but I know that I need to hold tight to all my brothers and sisters, whether Christian or not, even those whose houses of cards are trembling and making them crazy with fear.<br />
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Especially those.<br />
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Have you become rigid in your faith? Are you feeling afraid and lashing out at those who are different, who have different political opinions or faith practices? Do you see them as a threat rather than beloved children of a God who is neither democrat nor republican but who created the stars and the moon and the very DNA that makes you a person. Have you forgotten that our God loves each and every one of His children?<br />
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Hear the Lord tell you, "Fear not!" Hear Christ's words in the gospel of John: "Love one another."<br />
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Hear the Lord, and act in love. Always act in love.<br />
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<i>Lord of all, we ask your guidance and blessing on us in these strange days, that our acts in the world be pleasing to you and grow your kingdom of peace, love, mercy, and grace here and now. May your love reach fearful hearts and transform them into bold and faithful servants of the vine of life, to grow a rich and healthy harvest that nourishes all. In Jesus' precious name we pray, Amen. </i><br />
<br />Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-21242648765951909112016-03-26T16:40:00.002-07:002016-03-26T16:40:15.764-07:00Humility, Love, and SacrificeWhile perusing the latest issue of <i>Discover </i>magazine, I came across the single truest statement about science I've read in a long time. To start his article "A Cosmos, Darkly," Corey S. Powell wrote:<br />
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"Often in science it takes a long time to understand exactly how confused you are."<br />
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The more I thought about this sentence, the more sense it made...and not just for science.<br />
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When Jesus entered Jerusalem to hosannas and palms, the Jews had high expectations for the Messiah. He would be a military and political leader who would crush Rome and free His people. Expectation, however, is the mother of disappointment, and their disappointment made them yell "Crucify him!" just days later. The most horrible, humiliating death was meted out to the Messiah.<br />
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It's confusing when the truth isn't what we expect. What I see in scripture is a lot of people trying their best to understand God and repeatedly learning, sometimes over the course of centuries, that what they thought they knew, <i>what they expected to be true,</i> just wasn't so.<br />
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The Hebrews were thorough-going polytheists, but the Jews of Jesus' time ran into trouble with Rome because they had become thorough-going monotheists. Today, we see the polytheistic Hebrews as confused (<i>they</i> didn't think they were confused, though) and the montheistic Jews as seriously onto something. The Israelites thought when Jerusalem fell to Babylon that their God had abandoned them, but He restored Jerusalem to them less than a century later. He is faithful, even when we are not.<br />
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Once Jesus died on the cross, everything changed, just as it changed when Galileo asserted that the earth rotated around the sun. Our understanding underwent a cosmic shift, but it strikes me as arrogant to assume that now, at this moment in history, we have everything figured out, any more than science has the nature of the universe figured out.<br />
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For now, it seems to me that God is leading us...somewhere. To His kingdom. Whatever that looks like. Our biggest step forward so far came on that cross, where expectations went unmet, where God surprised us spectacularly. On the night before He died, Jesus gave His disciples a new commandment for moving forward, one steeped deeply in the old commandments but made deeply personal for each and every one of us who believe in Him: "As I have loved you, so you should love one another."<br />
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Jesus loved us to the cross. This Easter, let us commit to humbly focusing on His new commandment and to avoiding the confusion of our times that seeks to distract us from that clear message with arrogant, politicized theology and divisive rhetoric.<br />
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The cross teaches us love, humility, and sacrifice. Where those lessons will lead us remains to be seen, but I, for one, trust my King. He said to love, and as often as I fail, I try, each and every day, to be an Easter person.<br />
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In Jesus' name, Amen.<br />
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Happy Easter!<br />
<br />Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-75433809037732223282016-02-10T19:20:00.000-08:002016-02-10T19:20:27.265-08:00Lenten GratitudeLots of people give up something for Lent, but in recent years, I've tried to add something. This year, I'm going to send a handmade card every day because telling people you love them with happy mail is a good thing. Also, I'm going to keep a Lenten Gratitude Journal.<br />
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A great way to show our gratitude for Christ's living sacrifice on the cross is to acknowledge all that He bought for us. Of course we have our sins washed away, our salvation bought and paid for. For me, right now, in this season, gratitude for salvation overwhelms me because I don't deserve it.<br />
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Which is the whole point, actually. Jesus loved us that much!<br />
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But in this 40 days of moving toward the cross and resurrection, I want to focus on celebrating those little, daily blessings and beauties and bounty that we too often take for granted in a distracting world, and also those challenges and difficulties that, through Christ, lead us to growth, to love, to victory.<br />
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Lent calls us all differently. This year, it's calling me to send cards and wallow in boundless gratitude. How is it calling you?Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-76793155863828747482016-02-07T15:16:00.004-08:002016-02-07T15:16:55.569-08:00Be an Encourager<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijHihHTKaPOkBJDLTiEOwCTrM3Wc_KIasmVMgt4Ql-QEIgNXnzjAuhSQzAho99GhI9po-oIgzdYMioKbSLnuLlOZGUnfs5s3F_4dgXg2EL1x6oaHFPWMNHPdPUu9aiCg3qT75nZMtLWn4/s1600/encourager.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijHihHTKaPOkBJDLTiEOwCTrM3Wc_KIasmVMgt4Ql-QEIgNXnzjAuhSQzAho99GhI9po-oIgzdYMioKbSLnuLlOZGUnfs5s3F_4dgXg2EL1x6oaHFPWMNHPdPUu9aiCg3qT75nZMtLWn4/s400/encourager.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.patheos.com/blogs/davewillis/">Source</a></td></tr>
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My husband, George, and I were discussing how worthless movie critics are sometimes when we need help deciding what movies to watch. Several times, movies the critics panned ended up being enormously entertaining to us, while critically acclaimed films left us groping for some vague semblance of pleasure. At times, it feels like the critics go out of their way to promote depressing, serious movies and tear down light-hearted, warm-and-fuzzy movies.<br />
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Of course, sometimes they are right, and not listening to them gets you fifteen minutes into <i>Aloha </i>and a wistful fantasy that the cable company will refund your $5.99.<br />
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When it comes to our relationships, however, criticism rarely helps. In fact, it often wounds, sometimes viciously.<br />
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I've noticed, too, that criticism is a contagious disease and can spread like mange over a whole community. Once it sets in, the best treatment is a healthy, long-term course of positive encouragement.<br />
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The other day, I had lunch with an encourager. I felt so lifted up, so capable and psyched and positive. That wasn't how I felt when we first got together. She brought about that change.<br />
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With encouragement.<br />
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She inspires me, and I am grateful!<br />
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<i>What do you do to encourage others? Are you too often the critic? How might you shift your words to encourage rather than criticize?</i>Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-42204159766857961072016-02-03T19:42:00.001-08:002016-02-03T20:01:49.655-08:00God Never LeftA few days ago, I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and saw a picture captioned, "With God back in this country, we will succeed. Share if you agree."<br />
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I'm confused.<br />
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When did God leave leave this country?<br />
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This sort of rhetoric--not to mention the theology behind it--bothers me. The implication is that a vague and unnamed enemy ran God out of America, and, given that it's an election year, if we just vote properly, God will come back.<br />
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Is the Almighty truly such a powerless victim of a fickle electorate? Or is He the fickle one, turning His back on us when the best fundraiser of the bunch wins office?<br />
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I don't believe either of these things.<br />
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For the record, I'm a political moderate. I lean left on some issues and right on others, but my butt is usually firmly planted on the fence. Consequently, the primaries horrify me. The rhetoric on both sides inflames, divides, tears down, humiliates, rages, incites fear. Statements like that Facebook post show just how far we have been lead astray by angry rhetoric.<br />
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God isn't about politics. He's not an elephant or a donkey. He doesn't prefer red to blue or blue to red. He's not on anyone's side. He is the Great I Am. He is His own side.<br />
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<b>We should focus on joining His side, not claiming Him for our side. </b>His side isn't limited to the narrow confines of political ideology. His is the side of love, compassion, feeding the hungry, visiting the prisoner, housing the homeless, healing the sick, seeking peace with our neighbors, showing mercy to those who trespass against us, forgiving others as we are forgiven, doing unto others as we would have them do unto us.<br />
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And guess what? All of these good and wonderful things are happening in America each and every day. <b>We are already succeeding with God.</b> So many good, Godly acts happen all around us all the time, from small, unrecognized personal acts of kindness to government systems of support and care that may not be perfect but still do a lot of good.<br />
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<b>How can anyone truthfully say God needs to "come back"? He's all over the place!</b><br />
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Sure, there are bad people doing bad things, and some of our systems are spectacularly broken, but that simply means we need to continue doing the good work God's already started of building a just, merciful, peaceful nation. We need to keep bearing spiritual fruit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. And by <i>we </i>I mean each and every one of us as individuals and as a whole community, state, and nation.<br />
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<b>God is in this country. He never left.</b> God is in America because we are <i>all </i>His children and He loves each and every one of us, no matter how we vote or how ridiculous we are. And aren't we ridiculous to shout and yell and click "share" on Facebook to agree that we need to bring God back?<br />
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He never left.<br />
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Thanks be to God!!!Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-72788964042028921272015-12-10T16:51:00.001-08:002015-12-10T16:51:38.388-08:00Teach Tolerance and Denounce Religious BigotryIn all the media nastiness and hate, let's think about basic human rights and what God calls us to do in times filled with conflict and fear. Consider these two points:<br />
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<li>The Bible says, over and over and over again, "Fear not." </li>
<li>God is love, not hate. Jesus said to love even your enemies. Hate has no place in a Christian heart. No place whatsoever.</li>
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When we react out of fear, we are not honoring God. When we hate, we are not honoring God.<br />
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"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, 'I love God,' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen." <i>1 John 4:18-20</i><br />
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In the words of Ronald Reagan, "We must never remain silent in the face of bigotry. We must condemn those who seek to divide us. In all quarters and at all times, we must teach tolerance and denounce racism, anti-Semitism and all ethnic or religious bigotry wherever they exist as unacceptable evils. We have no place for haters in America – none, whatsoever."<br />
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<i>No place for haters in America.</i><br />
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I am a Christian. Do not judge me by the actions of Westboro Baptist, the Ku Klux Klan, the Lord's Resistance Army, and other hate-filled organizations that call themselves Christian.<br />
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My neighbors are Muslim. Do not judge them by the actions of terrorists who call themselves Muslim.<br />
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I will not be silent in the face of bigotry. I will teach tolerance and renounce racism and bigotry in all forms. I will stand against the forces of hate and evil. I will love God with all my being, and love my neighbor as myself. Because that is the right thing to do...<i>the thing that God wants us all to do</i>.<br />
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Let's honor the light of peace, hope, joy, and love celebrated this Advent season and reflect that light to all God's children. Only then will we truly have peace on earth, goodwill toward all.<br />
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Heavenly Father, we ask that you strengthen the fearful, give hope to the hopeless, and fill us with your perfect love that we may be your agents in the world, driving out fear and hate as we spread your love to the ends of the earth. Amen.<br />
<br />Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-25835246202553825762015-11-17T20:08:00.000-08:002015-11-17T20:08:19.941-08:00Bearing BurdensRecently, I struck up a conversation with my Starbucks barista. Let's call him Bob. Bob and I are on a first-name basis, and he's quite the perfect person to be a barista...friendly, warm, kind, and a bit chatty. Just seeing him behind the counter makes me smile.<br />
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Parent-teacher conferences and appointments with the developmental pediatrician were on my mind, so I shared with Bob that our son has autism. Bob was so kind and shared his Christian perspective of love in the face of challenges. He also shared that his wife of many years suffers a number of challenges herself. He told me he'd been laid off a few years ago, just a bit too soon for him to retire, and that's why he worked at Starbucks. <br />
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As two caregivers brought together by a grande pumpkin spice latte, we understood each other and extended much-needed grace to each other in gentle words and kindness in Christ's name. I walked away from that moment lifted up and lighter. I hope Bob did, too.<br />
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Moments like this happen to me. A lot.<br />
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The world is full of us broken people who pull ourselves together in love for others, who know in our bones that we are loved by Love Itself, and who simply must spread that love around like double-fudge icing on a world that needs it.<br />
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Some days, though, life's exhausting. And that's why, when we're open and honest and real, these moments of kindness between and connection to others come to us as gifts straight from God.<br />
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We are not alone. <br />
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We are <i>never </i>alone.<br />
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God sends us others--in both small ways and large--to help us bear our burdens. Keep your head up and your heart open, and pay attention. Look for these gifts when they come to you; look for opportunities to give these gifts when you can. <br />
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And be grateful for each and every one.<br />
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<i>Feel free to share a "gift moment" you've experienced. Who knows? You might give someone ideas!</i>Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-44693431088735903132015-10-28T05:47:00.001-07:002015-10-28T05:47:57.850-07:00God Is FoundDuring Sunday worship, our congregation sang <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0zDi8tt5Qo">"How Can We Name a Love,"</a> and so much of this beautiful hymn by Brian Wren spoke to me. The last two lines of the first verse read:<br />
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<i><b>Within our daily world, in every human face,</b></i><br />
<i><b>Love's echoes sound and God is found, hid in the commonplace.</b></i><br />
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Hid in the commonplace. That's were we find God. So often, we want the mountaintop experience, the voice from the burning bush, the whirlwind guiding us through the wilderness. But God shows up in our lives every day in the smile from a stranger, the banter of the barista, the gesture from another driver letting you go first at the intersection, the assistant returning your cart at the grocery store parking lot.<br />
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In looking for the whirlwind, we miss Love's echoes sounding quietly and consistently in our daily routine.<br />
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How might we feel if we mindfully awoke to life overfilled with Love unconfined to the mountaintop, but spilling out of commonplace moments of each and every day?<br />
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We might feel like sharing that love ourselves, reaching out in the commonplace, being the hands and feet and smile of Christ to others.<br />
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See the good. Be the good.<br />
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And life is good.<br />
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Thanks be to God.Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-53582637935684585242015-09-20T16:26:00.001-07:002015-09-20T16:26:08.740-07:00Broken and Blessed<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.lakesidepottery.com/Media/JPG_Images/kintsugi-gold-and-lacquer-broken-pottery-repair/kintsugi-for-sale/turquoise-japanese-kintsukuro.jpg">Source</a></td></tr>
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<br />
<br />
The Japanese have a practice called <i>kintsugi</i>, or golden joinery. When a pottery piece breaks, it is repaired with lacquer mixed with gold or another precious metal. Thus, the broken places are highlighted and made beautiful.<br />
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God does this to us. He fills in our broken places with grace and mercy...and they become beautiful.<br />
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When I look back on my life, some of the most horrible things that happened have made me more beautiful: kinder, gentler, more forgiving, less judgmental. Isn't it amazing how God can do that in our lives? He is always working toward good, no matter how much evil we encounter in the world.<br />
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Today, reflect on how God has put you back together with gold. How can you use your gold-filled places as a witness to God's love with the world? Where are you still broken and resisting God's healing? Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-89824215497879560852015-09-07T05:55:00.003-07:002015-09-07T05:55:53.017-07:00Render unto CaesarAs the political scene in the United States starts gearing up for the 2016 presidential elections, it's good for Christians to remember that Jesus told us to render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and to render unto God that which is His. <br />
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Mike Slaughter and Chuck Gutenson put it better than I ever could so I'm sharing Rev. Slaughter's blog post, excerpted from their book <i>Hijacked: responding to the partisan church divide</i>. <br />
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<a href="http://mikeslaughter.com/blog/what-happened-to-the-evangelical-church">What Happened to the Evangelical Church?</a><br />
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It breaks my heart to see Christians judging each other, turning on each other with viciousness and hateful speech, all in the name of politics. Jesus told us to love each other, and we're failing spectacularly as the divisive and ugly rhetoric of politics invades and infects our words to each other. <br />
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<i>Love the Lord your God, and love your neighbor, and treat your neighbor as you yourself want to be treated.</i> <br />
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That's God's bottom line. <br />
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How will you keep God's bottom line this political season?Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-25699209702348984602015-08-27T20:01:00.001-07:002015-08-27T20:01:31.614-07:00Building Up<b><br /></b>
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<b>Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. </b><i><b>Ephesians 4:29</b></i><br />
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What are your spiritual gifts*? <br />
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Are you using them? <br />
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If so, how can you use them more effectively?<br />
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If not, what steps do you need to take to let the Spirit move you?<br />
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<b>These are questions we Christians should ask ourselves regularly, prayerfully, and in community.</b> After all, spiritual gifts are those wonderful gifts given by the Holy Spirit specifically for service to the church. When we allow ourselves to engage fully, positively, and productively with our faith community, great things happen. <br />
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What happens, however, when there's a misfit between our spiritual gifts and our involvement in the church? Well, nothing good. And often, because we are in community, our personal missteps hurt the community as much as they hurt us. <br />
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God did not give me the gift of music, for instance. If I were to force my way into the choir, the director would do all she could to silence me, cover my voice with stronger, better voices that actually stay in tune. The dissonance caused by my caterwauling would disrupt the harmony. <br />
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It's a good thing I know and accept my vocal inadequacies and don't torment others with delusions of grandeur! During worship, I sit right behind the choir and sing softly so they drown me out...a lovely solution to my joyful noise. <br />
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Interestingly, our spiritual gifts change over time, though admittedly it's unlikely I'll miraculously start singing in tune. An activity that fills us with joy in one season of our lives might gradually become a drain on our energy. As we become empty and negative, our unhappiness infects others around us. We tear down rather than build up, we see only problems where there are solutions, we criticize when we should encourage. <br />
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My top two spiritual gifts are nurturing leadership and mercy...which makes my role as a Stephen Leader a good fit. I'm new to the role, though, and bound to make mistakes. In fact, I've already made several. Thankfully, the other leader, Zandra, has been doing this for years and has a way of reining in my puppyish enthusiasm that is gentle, kind, and positive. She builds me up. I always look forward to seeing her, to working with her, to learning from her. <br />
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God gives us people in our lives to grow us as Christians, to build us up. I am so grateful for Zandra, my pastor, and the others in my faith community who not only build me up but build others up as well. <br />
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Let our words give grace to those who hear them!<br />
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<i>*If you are new to the idea of spiritual gifts or aren't quite sure what they are, you can get a nice overview </i><a href="http://www.umc.org/what-we-believe/exploring-your-spiritual-gifts"><i>here on the United Methodist Church website</i></a><i>. There's a link on that page to an online assessment to help determine your gifts, but that assessment is really just a start. Different churches and studies list different gifts...there's not really a single definitive list. I strongly encourage people to participate in a formal small-group study of gifts to get a deeper, more refined idea of what your gifts might be and help in deciding how to use them. Christian community is so important, and small groups are an excellent way of growing in faith! </i>Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-846502044931527702015-08-08T16:03:00.004-07:002015-08-08T16:03:57.696-07:00Unanswerable QuestionsA friend called me a few days ago to tell me that she lost a dear friend--a 40-something mother of young twin boys--to cancer. In her grief, my friend asked that unanswerable question: "Why?"<br />
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Why would a young mother die suddenly? Why did she have cancer in the first place? What possible good can come of out this?<br />
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My friend wanted words of wisdom. I don't know how wise they are, but this is what I've learned about grief and loss and the unfairness of life. <br />
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Sometimes, things don't make sense and never will. We don't understand. Cells grow out of control or a drunk gets behind the wheel or a heart stops or a foot slips or someone drowns or tectonic plates move or a person takes his or her own life. We want to explain these things away, comfort ourselves with cause, blame, anger. But really, sometimes, things just don't make sense. And they never will. <br />
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God doesn't make people sick or kill babies or young mothers or fathers or thousands of people in a terrorist attack or tsunami or concentration camp. God does <em>not</em> do these things. At least, this is what I believe as a good Methodist. Some Christians believe differently. <br />
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God does, however, welcome His children home when tragic things happen, and He provides ways for those left behind to turn tragedy into something good. A woman whose 16-year-old daughter died in a car accident opened a half-way house for teenage girls because God wanted her to take all that love for her daughter and help girls in need. I've written before how we see God every time a first responder rushes <em>toward</em> tragedy rather than away from it. God is there in the doctors' hands and nurses' kindness. He's there, even in the worst situations, trying to move us to do good.<br />
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I also know that <em>this sucks for us</em>. It takes time to heal and time to see good again. We need to give ourselves that time, to be kind and gentle with ourselves as we grieve, and we need to find people, or even one single person, who will listen to us as we work through our grief at our own pace and in our own time. If we don't find healing, we sink in bitterness. Tragedy--not God--wins. <br />
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That's what I know. It's not much, or even enough, but I cling to it as I cling to God.<br />
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It's just enough to get me through, and I sure hope it helps you, too.Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-87133786454962218602015-07-26T10:21:00.002-07:002015-07-26T10:21:36.847-07:00Paying AttentionPsychologist Daniel Goleman, an expert on emotional intelligence, wrote, "The act of compassion begins with full attention."<br />
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Meditate on that for a moment. <br />
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<strong>"The act of compassion begins with full attention."</strong> <br />
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Compassion, which we can define as the empathetic desire to help someone who is troubled, requires us to see what the trouble is, to understand that trouble and how it affects a person, and to act if there's anything helpful we can do about it. <br />
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Who around you is suffering? How can you exercise your compassion attentively? <br />
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Very often, the answer to that second question is quite simple:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1gusa6J4qASr5x-Lw1Tk9_dRTnETV_X4FRSvhP7yUdkc6BBka9qzOmVolxI949Yi0fDVNrc5ZfSU0ujvi2thVyQVC0AdMQs8tbHFeUudEn5IOp8iy8vsZ5WK3_6XZJW-JVObdMjP4L40/s1600/sitting+besife+someone.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1gusa6J4qASr5x-Lw1Tk9_dRTnETV_X4FRSvhP7yUdkc6BBka9qzOmVolxI949Yi0fDVNrc5ZfSU0ujvi2thVyQVC0AdMQs8tbHFeUudEn5IOp8iy8vsZ5WK3_6XZJW-JVObdMjP4L40/s400/sitting+besife+someone.jpg" width="263" /></a></td></tr>
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Compassion can be tough in a world that tells us the important things are big...big gestures, big words, big generosity. Silent support seems too little, too ordinary, too unimportant.<br />
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Truth is, we all appreciate it when someone really listens to us, pays attention, doesn't try to fix things or offer up suggestions for how we can make the pain go away. I've been struggling with headaches for several years now, more than likely the result of menopause. It's been fascinating to watch people's response to my pain. Some email me 10-point lists of suggestions, and some tell me how their aunt's sister-in-law's cousin had the same thing and found instant relief by using a combination of aromatherapy and crystals to align her chakras. Others stick to suggesting medications or dietary changes. <br />
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Three years ago, I had no idea there were so many options for treating headaches. <br />
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I listen to most of the suggestions and weigh them against everything else I've tried, although the aromatherapy-and-crystals idea came from a total stranger who saw me looking at essential oils at the high-end grocery store. Aromatherapy can't hurt and might help, but crystals are against my religion. Otherwise, I appreciate the suggestions. Once you've exhausted medical options with your doctor, you'll try almost anything for relief. <br />
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The best thing that has come out of other people sharing their experiences with mid-life headaches has been the comforting assertion that <em>they will go away</em>. <em>They will end. The change will be over</em>. Hope is always useful! And through suggestions for treatment, I have found some things that truly provide relief. <br />
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One friend, however, hasn't suggested a single remedy or treatment. All she's done is listen to me whine and complain about having tried ten different medications and oy vey nothing helps! She asks me always, "How's your head?" And gives me her quiet attention. She's my safe place. Her full and quiet attention helps me get over myself and laugh at the pain, which gives it a lot less power over my moods.<br />
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My husband George has been wonderful through all this, too. He doesn't take offense when I get grouchy; he simply ignores my mood and sympathizes with the pain. He's brought ideas for treatment from other people, googled for information, and generally been there in sickness. I appreciate his attentiveness more than I can say. <br />
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I am blessed with so many wonderful friends and family! <br />
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God blesses us to be a blessing to others. Many of my friends are dealing with far more tragic or difficult situations than headaches. Divorce, loss, cancer, mental illness, and caring for sick or dying loved ones...these people are suffering, and they need attention. <br />
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Matthew 25:35-40 <em>For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,</em><em> I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’</em><br />
The act of compassion begins with full attention. It continues with love.<br />
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Who in your life needs your full attention? Do they need advice from you or do they need you to take the quiet, compassionate option of sitting beside them? Pay attention to the situation. Ask the person how you can help. Listen carefully to the answers. <br />
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What we do out of love and compassion--no matter how seemingly small or insignificant--we do to the glory of the One who died for us. So let's pay attention!<br />
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PS My own headaches are probably the result of muscle tension of "unknown" physiological origin (as opposed to psychological origin). I say it's the hormones, and so do a number of older ladies at my church who have been here, done this, and gotten over it. I'm treating with a combination of things (medications, massage, acupuncture, meditation, and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/WellPatch-Cooling-Headache-Pads-Migraine/dp/B001FORLJ8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1437930604&sr=8-1&keywords=migraine+well+patch&pebp=1437930607697&perid=0FFFJGWE4NGT8QM911PX">well patches</a>). If you're suffering from mid-life headaches, best wishes for finding relief that works. There certainly are a LOT of options out there. Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-77548383267293549572015-07-15T06:55:00.000-07:002015-07-15T06:55:30.212-07:00Truth and GeneralizationsLast fall, I fell into the weirdest exchange I've ever had at a military base hospital. For the record, I've had some bizarre experiences in base hospitals over the years...one of the entertaining perks of military life, I suppose.<br />
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On that fall morning, I walked into the blood-draw room, which was packed with technicians and patients. Most of the patients had been fasting and were, like me, understandably grumpy and quietly impatient for their morning coffee. The techs, however, were deep in a lively discussion over science and religion.<br />
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One tech, an older man, declared, "I am a Christian who doesn't believe in evolution."<br />
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Oh, Lord, I prayed. What have I walked into? I haven't even had my coffee yet.<br />
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The tech tying the tourniquet around my arm looked up and said, "Well, I thought <em>all</em> Christians believe evolution is a lie."<br />
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Oh, Lord, I prayed, <i>please give me the words.</i><br />
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"Excuse me," I said, reaching for the cross hanging around my neck with my free hand. The tech gave me his full attention. "Not all Christians think evolution is a lie. I am a Christian and see nothing inconsistent between what I read in the Bible and what science has to say about evolution or the big bang theory. And I'm not alone. Plenty of Christians respect science."<br />
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"Really?" he asked, appearing rather shocked.<br />
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"<em>Really</em>," I replied, putting as much confidence in my voice as I could.<br />
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"I had no idea. Thank you so much." He sounded sincere. I hope my words shifted his thinking just a bit.<br />
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How disconcerting to encounter the false generalization that Christians all think alike! The truth is, about the only thing <em>all</em> Christians believe is that Jesus is the Messiah...and I bet if you search hard enough in the fringe corners of our faith, you'll find heretical quibblers on that issue, too. Christianity has hundreds (some count thousands) of denominations, and even within a single denomination, you'll find numerous variations of belief.<br />
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Actually, within a single church congregation, you'll find huge differences of opinion, a reality that becomes obvious if you sit through a single church committee meeting.<br />
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And if this is true of Christianity, isn't it also true of other religions? <br />
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A few years ago, I <a href="http://questioningmyintelligence.blogspot.com/2010/10/loving-religious-freedom.html">invited some Mormon missionaries</a> to share their faith with me because I knew how ignorant I was, despite having been bombarded with extensive media coverage of polygamists and child abusers. <b>I recognize that the information we have on LOTS of issues comes filtered and packaged by a media with an agenda...and it isn't objective or thorough.</b><br />
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I found the missionaries to be thoughtful, kind, and knowledgeable about their faith. While nothing they said convinced me to convert, they taught me plenty about Mormonism, and for that I was thankful. I still don't know "everything" about the subject, but that's okay. At least I learned enough to overcome a simplistic, one-size-fits-all (and completely faulty) generalization. <br />
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But how often do we judge a group--religious or otherwise--because we've consumed a sensationalized, partial, or highly biased view presented by the media? Our friends? Our pastors? How often do we judge based on a single personal experience? How often is our judgment clouded by false generalizations and fear?<br />
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Given recent riots in Baltimore, the church shooting in Charleston, and the media spotlight on police prejudice and brutality, we need to be aware of how our opinion is being manipulated, how our fears are being played on. And most of all, we need to be very cautious in making broad generalizations based on limited evidence. <br />
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"That mass shooter was schizophrenic, so all people with schizophrenia are murderers and dangerous."<br />
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"Those terrorists were Muslim, so all Muslims are terrorists."<br />
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"Those Christians hate gay people, so all Christians hate gay people."<br />
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Faulty generalizations can be so very easy to make, so very strong once made, and so very wrong! It's human nature to want to know with certainty, and all of nature abhors a void. Are we filling our mental void with accurate, complete information?<br />
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Probably not.<br />
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My classical education taught me that we never, ever have all the information we need to see all the nuances of the big picture. Our perspective is limited, necessarily so. We cannot know everything, and our judgments should consequently be provisional, cautious, thoughtful. Paul describes our incomplete viewpoint as "looking through a glass darkly" and Proverbs tells us not to lean on our own understanding but to trust the Lord. God's got the big picture covered. We need to do our best with what's in front of us, what we can see. <br />
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With these limits to our understanding humbly in mind, let's try to moderate our more forceful opinions with the certain knowledge that we only see and know part of the issues and that our generalizations, like those of the medical technologist I encountered, might be completely wrong. May we do this in a spirit of love and compassion for ourselves and others that daily advances God's kingdom on earth. <br />
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<em>For reflection: Have you been a victim of faulty generalizations How did that make you feel? How did you respond? What generalizations do you make? How might you learn a more nuanced view of those generalizations?</em>Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-13417209794415185492015-07-07T14:12:00.002-07:002015-07-07T18:33:30.638-07:00Lines in the SandHave you heard the one about the priest, the Levite, and the Samaritan? It goes something like this: <br />
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<span style="color: #073763;">A lawyer asks Jesus what he should do to have eternal life. Jesus asks him what the Law (which we call Scripture) says. The lawyer replies, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself." Jesus applauds the lawyer for giving the right answer, but the lawyer then asks, "Who is my neighbor?" (Just like the lawyer in all of us...quibbling over definitions, looking for loopholes!)</span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;">To answer, Jesus tells the story of a man going from Jerusalem to Jericho who is attacked by robbers, beaten, stripped naked, and left for dead on the side of the road. A priest sees him and moves to the other side of the road, passing without helping. Then a Levite does the same. When a Samaritan sees this poor, beaten Jew, he responds in love, bandages his wounds, takes him to an inn nearby, and pays the innkeeper to care for the wounded man, promising to come back and check on him to be sure the innkeeper does the job right. </span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #073763;">Jesus ends by asking the lawyer which man was a neighbor to the victim. "The one who showed him mercy," he replies. Then Jesus says, "Go and do likewise."</span><br />
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"Go and do likewise." <br />
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It's not a joke. <br />
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The parable of the Good Samaritan is one of the hardest teachings Jesus gives us. Samaritans and Jews were mortal enemies, For a Samaritan to be the good guy in a story told by a Jew to a Jew...well, that was just unthinkable. That was a line in the sand that shouldn't be crossed. <br />
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Jesus crossed it.<br />
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In doing so, Jesus makes a bold point about the Law. The Jewish priests and Levites were leaders who had become overly preoccupied with the details of the Law relating to purity. If they stopped to help the man, they would be rendered impure by touching a possibly dead body or getting human blood on their hands or robes. They had forgotten about the most important Law of all, the Law upon which all the other laws were based, the Law that leads to eternal life: Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind; and love your neighbor as yourself. <br />
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That's the bottom line. <br />
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What did it matter if the priest and Levite were inconvenienced by weeks of ritual purification? Someone needed their help, a fellow Jew, <em>one of their own</em>, and they walked past him.<br />
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I think we all can use a few weeks of ritual purification now and then, no matter how inconvenient, but we are such selfish creatures. We put our own needs and convenience first, and turn a blind eye to the needs of those in the ditch. A few years ago, as I was walking with my husband, his sister, and her husband around the capitol building in Madison, Wisconsin, in search of dinner, I saw one of the many homeless people struggling to roll his wheel chair up a rather steep hill. The Spirit nudged me to offer help...but I kept walking. <br />
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When I stand before God, I will have to answer for that failure. Perhaps you know exactly the knot I get in my stomach when that memory hits me, the shame I feel for not answering that nudge, the knowledge that I failed God in this one small thing. <br />
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How must I be failing Him in even larger ways unconsciously, thoughtlessly, carelessly, every single day? <br />
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Yet God loves me anyway, forgives my sins, pours out blessings on me so that I may be a blessing to others. I don't deserve that sort of love. Not a bit. I fail every day, and He never quits loving me, and He never quits loving you, either. <br />
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When I feel that unbounded love--a love that erases all those lines in the sand we draw--I want to go and do likewise. I will fail, sometimes spectacularly, but I will keep trying. Winston Churchill said <strong>success is going from one failure to the next with no loss of enthusiasm</strong>. When we get stuck, when we give into despair, when we lose our enthusiasm for loving and let <em>not loving</em> become a habit so ingrained we can't even see it...that's real failure. <br />
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Are we judging others, condemning them, separating ourselves from them because we don't want to get dirty? If we're honest, we probably have to answer yes. We do this, every one of us, because we have lines we won't cross in sharing our love. Some people won't love gays or homeless people or the mentally ill or potty mouths or Muslims or Christians of other denominations. Some people won't love the people who won't love gays or homeless people or the mentally ill or potty mouths or Muslims or Christians of other denominations.<br />
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We've all got lines we won't cross with love. When we are self-centered or afraid, the line we won't cross gets closer to us, and the circle where we love shrinks, and we push people outside the line, teaching the falsehood that God's love is conditional and contingent just like ours.<br />
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Jesus wants us to be like the good Samaritan, to be a neighbor to everyone, but it's just so hard. Perhaps daily we need to ask Him to push back our lines just a little bit, expand the circle where we love to be a bit more inclusive, a bit less comfortable and convenient, even if it means getting our hands dirty. If we keep doing this, an awesome thing happens: we pull more and more people closer to that Perfect Love...including ourselves. And the bigger our love gets, the more like Jesus we become. <br />
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Are you shining God's love out into the world or are you guarding it close to you, keeping it pure and unsullied by the touch of sinful neighbors in a sinful world? Where were the Samaritan's lines drawn? Where did he give his mercy?<br />
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Go and do likewise. Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2429003791145857232.post-46309257234853885242015-06-29T07:00:00.000-07:002015-06-29T07:00:09.024-07:00Noisy Gongs<br />
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Social media exploded in the wake of the SCOTUS decision on marriage equality. My Facebook feed filled quickly with lots of opinions, some expressed with kindness but many were not so kind. This didn't surprise me. More important, though, was the number of people who expressed how silenced they felt by the public discourse, how uncomfortable they felt expressing their own opinion for fear of provoking an avalanche of hate from "the other side." <br />
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We live in America. Freedom of speech is an inalienable right. Yet so many people feel alienated right now that it breaks my heart.<br />
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How we use our words matters. "If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging symbol." <br />
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Have your words added to the cacophony, the mud-slinging, the hate? It's so easy to get sucked into the trenches of this world; the battle lines seduce us with the sirens' song of power and righteousness and indignation: I'm right, you're wrong so screw you all the way to hell!<br />
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<strong>When we have to push others down to lift ourselves up, both sides lose.</strong> <br />
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Let's take a look at the entirety of I Corinthians 13, an oh-so-familiar passage that is forgotten oh-so-often in the times of conflict for which Paul wrote it. I invite you to read the words slowly, meditatively. Let them sink in.<br />
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<span style="color: #073763;">13 If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. <span class="text 1Cor-13-2" id="en-NRSV-28652"><sup class="versenum">2 </sup>And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. </span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-3" id="en-NRSV-28653"><sup class="versenum">3 </sup>If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast,<sup class="footnote" data-fn="#fen-NRSV-28653a" data-link="[<a href="#fen-NRSV-28653a" title="See footnote a">a</a>]">[<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+13&version=NRSV#fen-NRSV-28653a" title="See footnote a">a</a>]</sup> but do not have love, I gain nothing.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763;"><span class="text 1Cor-13-4" id="en-NRSV-28654"><sup class="versenum">4 </sup>Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant </span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-5" id="en-NRSV-28655"><sup class="versenum">5 </sup>or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; </span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-6" id="en-NRSV-28656"><sup class="versenum">6 </sup>it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. </span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-NRSV-28657"><sup class="versenum">7 </sup>It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #073763;"><span class="text 1Cor-13-8" id="en-NRSV-28658"><sup class="versenum">8 </sup>Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. </span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-9" id="en-NRSV-28659"><sup class="versenum">9 </sup>For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; </span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-10" id="en-NRSV-28660"><sup class="versenum">10 </sup>but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. </span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-11" id="en-NRSV-28661"><sup class="versenum">11 </sup>When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. </span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-12" id="en-NRSV-28662"><sup class="versenum">12 </sup>For now we see in a mirror, dimly,<sup class="footnote" data-fn="#fen-NRSV-28662b" data-link="[<a href="#fen-NRSV-28662b" title="See footnote b">b</a>]">[<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+13&version=NRSV#fen-NRSV-28662b" title="See footnote b">b</a>]</sup> but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. </span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-13" id="en-NRSV-28663"><sup class="versenum">13 </sup>And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.</span></span><br />
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In this chapter, Paul addresses the subject of spiritual gifts. He's responding to conflict in the church at Corinth over which spiritual gifts are "best." Who is better? Who is right? Today's universal church in America seems a lot like Corinth in the first century, and Paul's message of love seems particularly relevant. <br />
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Consider verse 6: love "does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in truth." Many Christians feel that marriage equality for the LGBT community is wrongdoing based on their interpretation of the Bible. Many others feel that marriage equality is the truth of love in action based on their interpretation of the Bible. Both sides feel so strongly opinionated that love has been lost. The church is stuck in conflict.<br />
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Who is right? God only knows.<br />
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We see through a glass darkly, and we know only in part. I could share in excruciating detail why I support marriage equality. I could bring in scripture and personal experience and reason, like a good follower of John Wesley's Methodism. I could describe how my reading of the Bible leads me to support love <em>in all things</em>. I could share stories of my gay and lesbian friends, of my transgender niece, of love and acceptance and my conviction that God doesn't make mistakes. <br />
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But in the polarized environment of social media (which includes blogs like this one), those who disagree with me wouldn't listen. Those who agree with me would gather my words up, twist them into sticks with which to flog their opponents. <strong>This is the lesson social media teaches us.</strong> There is no conversation anymore. There is only yelling...the rhetoric of the closed fist. The rhetoric of trench digging. The rhetoric of military victory and defeat.<br />
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How do we talk with each other any more? Where has love gone? How do we bring it back? <br />
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Let's begin by striving for patience. For kindness. For humility. After all, none of us sees truth clearly. We could all be wrong in our opinions as we peer through the dim glass of our imperfection. At the last supper, Christ made very clear--with no equivocation or qualifications or loopholes of legal opinion--what His followers were to do in the world: love one another.<br />
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<strong>Love is the lesson Christ teaches us.</strong> <br />
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If we don't have love, we are <em>nothing</em>. Let all Christians be unified in sharing God's song of love in an age of noisy gongs and clanging symbols. Choose your words carefully, kindly, compassionately, constructively. The complete Kingdom Love will come. Let us choose to be a part of it. Susan Raihalahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03018860599601419989noreply@blogger.com18